We Know You

We know you. You’re sharp and savvy. Tuned in and turned out. You take pride in who you are and what you do. You know that maintaining a good relationship is as much a measure of success as money in the bank. You’re funny, witty and maybe a tiny bit eccentric. It’s your own drummer you listen to.

In a word, you’re smart. So how come you’re sometimes so dumb?

For example: Would you frequent a restaurant that never let you order, just brought you what they thought you wanted? Or what they wanted you to want?

Of course not. But sometimes that’s exactly what we do to each other. We’re accused of not understanding. Making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. Maybe we’re blamed for making decisions for our partner — mind reading. Maybe we’ve done all those things. Even when our intention is not to be purposely hurtful, we might be accused of not caring.

Like each other like you used to. “If the car don’t have no wheels, it’s not gettin’ too far down the road.” So what makes you think that, without foundational skills, being together would always feel good? The truth is that as a relationship matures, being together is never the same as it was those first giddy moments; that’s not nature’s plan. Build a relationship for a lifetime. Talk and listen. Hear and be heard. That’s putting wheels on the car.

The healthier way is not difficult to follow. First, you have to figure out what the problems are; then develop awareness so you’re tuned in to when the problems happen. Now you’re ready to learn how to react to, and handle, problems in a healthier way. This all takes practice, but the payoff is, well, blissful!